Accountancy Jokes

Two  friends died. One a CA and another a Doctor. They reached Yamaloka.

Yamraj:   You both have committed  same sins and both seems to have  same merits. So doctor will get 5 year in hell and  CA  1.5 years hell term.

Doctor asked Yama : Why I got 3.5 years more when our sins are equal

Yamraj :  CA has already served 3.5 yr hell in articleship. So he got less term.

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Banner in front of the CA coaching centre :

“Drive slowly, don’t kill our students… leave them to us.”

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We had many options to end our life.

Poison, Sleeping pills, Hanging,

Jump from building, Sleep under a train..

But we choose the bravest… to pursue CA.

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Are you? :

Emotionally Numb?

Romantically Starved?

Creatively Challenged?

Artistically Void?

Socially Outcast?

Congratulations You are a CA Student!!

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Teacher: Osama has 5 wives and 20 Children,

Laloo has a wife and 9 children. Who is better?

CA Student: Osama’s NPV is good but Laloo’s IRR is better.

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Irritating audits, Fighting on stupid issues,

Everyday classes, Dangerous boss,

More expenditure, Less stipend,

People call it ARTICLESHIP, We call it LIFE.

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Heated Gold becomes ornament

Beated copper becomes wire

Depleted stome become statue

And…..

Tortured Student become CA!

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On a board before a church:

“GOD NEVER FAILS”

A C.A. student who happened to saw this writes below it

“LET HIM TRY C.A. EXAMS”

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New poem by Satyam:

Raju Raju, Yes Papa,

Cheating us, No papa,

Telling lies, =No papa,

Open your balance sheet

ha ha ha…

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Student at Medical Shop : I need poison

Chemist: I can’t sell you that.

(Student shows his CA books)

.

.

Chemist: Oh sorry, I didn’t know you had a prescription.

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The CA course is very much similar to public Toilet.

Reason: People outside are desperate to come in…and people inside are dying to come out!

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Lives will change…

Courage will be shaken…

Destiny will be chosen…

From the makers of “CPT”…

Comes the sequel…

“PCC”

Coming soon at exam hall near you… Enjoy!

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CA vs Space Engineer Student

A CA and a Space Engineering student go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fell asleep.

Some hours later, the CA wakes his Engineer friend and says:

“Look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

The Engineer replies, “I see millions of stars.”

The CA asks, “What does that tell you?”

The Space Engineer  ponders for a minute…. “Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you?

The CA sat silent for a moment, then speaks…. “Practically. ..Someone has stolen our tent, while we were sleeping”.

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Commerce Ke Student Agar Film Banaye To Filmo Ke Naam Kya Honge-

1>Kabhi debit kabhi credit

2>hum accounts k diwane he

3>Hum profit pe marte hai

4>Hum tax de chuke sanam

5>Hamara calculatar aapke paas he

6>C.A. kia to darna kya

7>Commerce se accha kon hai

8>I Hate Mathmatics

9>Rab ne miladi balance sheet...

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"tere dosti mein mujhe hogaya hai fever....tere dosti mein mujhe hogaya hai fever....,DEBIT the receiver, CREDIT the giver!!